


Shipwrecked on the Pale Moon

by TriadicUniverse



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternia is not a nice place, Bulges and Nooks, F/M, Galactic diplomat Rose, Tentabulges, Tentacles, They are very brief mentions though, Wounded alien Dualscar, i guess, mentions of injury, mentions of slavery and cannibalism, rails with pails
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 11:52:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7437147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TriadicUniverse/pseuds/TriadicUniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a alien of an obscure and notably violent species crashlands on Earth's moon, Galactic Diplomat Rose Lalonde is summoned to ensure that he does not murder or maim anyone while he is still healing from his injuries. While their business relationship is going swimmingly, Rose decides to take a hands-on approach to learning more about his species, and Dualscar isn't the type to say no to a pretty lady. Featuring a language gap bridged by technology, lots of extremely nervous NPCs, and a pants-kraken.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shipwrecked on the Pale Moon

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moonriseMonachopsis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonriseMonachopsis/gifts).



The southern colony on the partially terraformed moon was never completely silent. Between the steady hum of the life-support and electricity systems keeping the fragile humans inside alive, as well as the humans themselves going about their business, there was always some form of noise in the background. Despite this, a nervous hush always seemed to come over the room when Rose Lalonde entered. Scientists and administrators did not cease to go about their business, of course—they were professionals, after all—but conversations died to murmurs, and the poor Moon Colony inhabitants did their best not to stare. It was unclear, at times, whether people were intimidated by galactic diplomat herself, or the fearsome presence that accompanied her.

An ominous rumble emanated from a short distance behind Rose and slightly to her right. She ignored it for a moment or two, assuming that her companion was mumbling about nothing in particular, as he tended to do. The sound persisted, however, growing louder as it did so. With a sigh, she lifted a hand to fiddle with her headset; the translator was supposed to be automatic, but it acted up every once in a while. 

After a moment, her companion’s low snarls were interpreted into English, fortunately enough. It was unwise to ignore him for very long, considering he was, in fact, a hulking alien troll with horns that scraped the ceiling and several rows of shark-like teeth. As his complaints increased in volume, the nearest humans began to inch toward the exit, but Rose did not flinch.

The first words out of Dualscar’s mouth were, in fact, “—going to starve here on this shithole moon. Damn it, witch, are you listening?”

“My apologies,” Rose said coolly. “There was a problem with the translator. Is everything alright?”

“You say that every time,” the troll grumbled. “I’m beginnin’ to wonder if that ain’t an excuse for bein’ inattentive. Anyhow, there wouldn’t be a problem if you’d just let me feed myself when I need to.”

“I wouldn’t have a problem with that if you didn’t seem to think that anything smaller than you counts as a viable meal.”

“I’ve told you multiple times, I don’t mean to damage your silly little alien settlement. It ain’t like I plan to harm anythin’ important.”

“Last time you said that, you had your claws on one of our lab technicians.”

“This base is overcrowded as is, how do you expect to survive much longer if you don’t let natural selection take its course?”

As amusing as it might have been to watch the poor bystanders listen with fright and confusion to one half of the conversation, there might actually be casualties if they continued in this manner. That was always a risk when it came to intergalactic diplomacy. Rose prepared to make an acceptable concession…

Then learned that in the brief moment she looked away, Dualscar had reached out to grab an intern attempting to flee. Rose lips twisted into a scowl, and she sharply smacked the troll’s hands. Dualscar’s head whipped around to fix her with a shocked stare, as if it was beyond his comprehension that any creature would treat him in such a way. His shock quickly vanished, replaced by a fierce glare; his fins fanned out in what appeared to be an instinctive threat display, his eyes narrowed, and he let out a menacing snarl that had people scrambling away.

Despite this, Rose did not back down. She glared at him in turn, eyes narrowed and lips pursed. “What did I just say?” she said coldly. “The humans in this lab are off-limits, and that is not up for debate.”

Even hunched over so that his horns did not scrape the ceiling, the seatroll towered over her. Rose knew very well that nothing would stop him if he decided that he was finished playing by the humanity’s rules. To upset him was to gamble with the lives of every human being in this colony. 

Miraculously, Dualscar backed down. He heaved a long-suffering sigh, letting his fins flutter back against the sides of his head. As the tension eased from his posture, Rose allowed herself to relax as well. His good eye remained narrowed, his expression ironically resembling that of a petulant child, but he no longer actively tried to argue with her. Satisfied, Rose gently patted his arm. 

“I will speak with the aquarium staff and ask for them to spare a few more fish,” she said. “I am sure they are not all being experimented on right this minute.”

Dualscar nodded curtly. “See that you do,” he said. It seemed he was still trying to behave as if he was in control of the situation, and that made Rose’s lips curl into a smile. 

—

The daily visits to the infirmary were not a pleasant experience for anyone involved, but they were necessary. Dualscar had arrived on near the Colony rather accidentally, when the ship on which he was a passenger had an unfortunate collision with the moon’s surface. Although severely injured, he was the only survivor. 

Humans knew next to nothing about troll physiology, but once the doctors on hand removed the shrapnel from him and sewed him back together, he had begun to heal at a remarkable rate. It quickly became clear that once he awoke, he would more likely than not be a hazard to everyone in the fledgling settlement, and so the Colony’s control center on Earth received an urgent request for a diplomat. The control center then contacted Rose Lalonde, who was one of the few both skilled and foolish enough to take the job.

And here she was, weeks later, holding onto the arm of a massive, foul-tempered alien so that he did not violently murder the poor nurse checking his stitches. A swollen, violet gash stretched from his abdomen up over his ribcage, cutting dangerously close to his gills. The wound was neatly stitched together, but still appeared raw and painful; every time the nurse’s hands drifted too close, Dualscar would jerk and snap his teeth.

“Oh hush,” Rose said, holding onto him with all her strength. “What happened to my mighty alien warrior? Surely you can handle a bit of pain.” 

The glare Dualscar gave her was nothing short of outright scathing. Still, with his attention on her, the nurse was able to apply fresh bandages without fear of serious injury. Rose decided it would be best to keep him talking; fortunately, that was never difficult.

“It ain’t the pain that bothers me,” he grumbled. “But if that human touches my gills there’s gonna be a fuckin’ problem.”

“He’s just trying to help. If you sit still, we’ll be finished more quickly.”

“I’ll heal just fine, with or without his help! This isn’t proper.”

Rose conspicuously rolled her eyes, ignoring the troll’s offended growl. “I know, you are deadly and intimidating,” she dead-panned. “But you will just have to settle down and be patient. I assure you, no humans have died from malpractice in this lab. Surely, a big, strong troll like yourself can manage.”

With a dramatic sigh, Dualscar let his head fall back, knocking his horns against the wall. The paint was almost surely chipped, but that was not Rose’s problem. Her job was merely to keep the troll pacified, and that was difficult enough in itself. 

Finally, the nurse took a step back, pale but unharmed. With a nod to Rose, he indicated that his work was complete. Nodding back, she laid a hand on Dualscar’s shoulder.

“What did I tell you?” she said. “You survived.”

The troll snorted, his lips twisting into what may have been a scowl or a smirk. “Brat,” he mumbled, but there was hardly any venom in his tone.

The nurse vacated the room, leaving the two of them alone, and Dualscar slowly rose to his feet. Despite her teasing, Rose believed him when he claimed that the pain did not bother him. He showed no sign of discomfort when he moved, even though his skin was still littered with bruises and marks sustained during his crash-landing. Even those were not nearly as prominent as they had been a few weeks prior; many no longer needed to be bandaged, and some had faded entirely.

Well, there were a few marks that were a little more recent—specifically, the delicate bruises along the underside of his jaw, above each set of gills, and over the curve of his pectorals. Those were brand new, from only the previous night, but the nurse had tactfully chosen not to mention them.

“Do you like what you see?” 

Dualscar’s voice came as a surprise; Rose hadn’t realized that she had been staring. Still, she did not miss a beat. “What kind of scholar would I be if I missed such a choice opportunity to study an extraterrestrial up close?”

To an untrained eye, the troll would appear entirely aloof, but Rose did not miss the subtle twitch of his lips and the glimmer in his good eye, telling her that he enjoyed being observed. And although his personality left something to be desired, Rose had no complaints about the view. 

Slowly, almost reluctantly, Dualscar draped the robe he had been given back over his shoulders. His own clothes had been hopelessly damaged in the crash, and they had needed to be removed for surgery, besides. Despite this, when he first awoke, nude except for the gauze wrapped tightly around his wounds, he did not seem at all concerned. Rose had assumed, at the time, that clothes were optional on his home planet, and thought nothing of it. When she actually bothered to ask a day or two later, he arched an eyebrow and said, “No, not particularly.”

Rose had immediately made a trip to the wardrobifier, and Dualscar was clothed within the hour. It might not have been suited for a prince (as Dualscar was so fond of telling her that he was), but the material was soft and elegant, and Rose herself had taken care to stitch his sign across the front. She had even leant him a pair of her own earrings, glittering amethysts that now decorated his fins. The things she would do for diplomacy; then again, she never wore them herself, and it was her job to keep him happy, after all. Dualscar had seemed legitimately flattered by the gifts, which went a long way toward creating a cordial relationship, and besides, he had been making the infirmary staff uncomfortable.

Rose stood up and smoothed out her skirt. When she looked up, Dualscar was already holding his hand out expectantly. 

“Let’s not stay here any longer,” he said. “Have I ever told you how ghastly this place smells?”

“Almost daily,” Rose said, placing her hand in his much larger one. She knew very well that he could crush her as easily as crushing an insect, and yet he was nothing but gentle as he held onto her. This relationship was purely business, and yet it warmed her heart either way.

—

“What’s your business in this system, if your occupation keeps you on Alternia?” Rose asked, casually resting her hand on Dualscar’s thigh. Disgruntled, he glared down at her, his face flushed and fins fanned out.

“Is now really the best time to have this discussion?” he asked, and Rose could not contain a smile. 

Well, perhaps he had a point. She barely had to incline her head in order to press a kiss to the swollen, damp slit between his thighs, and it was becoming a bit of a chore to keep several insistent violet tendrils from working their way into her mouth. Perhaps this was not the best time to ask such questions; still, curiosity was a powerful thing.

“Is this not a venture we are undertaking in order to learn from one another?” she asked innocently. “How can I be expected to take on a hands-on investigation of alien physiology if I do not even know what it is that brings you to this little corner of the universe?”

She punctuated her question with a long, slow stroke of her fingers over Dualscar’s nook, ending at a spot just beneath his bulge slit that she knew from experience was wonderfully sensitive. A rumbling growl, too low for her to properly hear, nevertheless filled her senses. Unperturbed, she continued, “You do know that our physical encounters, like my questions, are purely for diplomatic reasons. Perhaps if you give me the answers I desire, I will be more inclined to continue with the more pleasurable part of my investigations.”

Her lips curled, and there was a rare flash of teeth in her smile. Dualscar glowered, but did not argue any further.

“Business is a bit of an overstatement. I like to go off-planet every couple centuries, explore the new additions to the Empire,” he said. 

Rose rewarded the information with a gentle squeeze to one of the tentacles coiling against her cheek, even if she had a bit of a complaint with that answer. It was such a simple fact; surely he wouldn’t have just forgotten. “Our system isn’t part of the Alternian Empire,” she said incredulously. 

Dualscar merely shrugged, his fingers twining casually with her hair. “Not yet it ain’t, but it’s only a matter of time.”

Rose arched an eyebrow, then, much to her bedmate’s protests, let go of his bulge to rest her chin in her hand. “You sound so sure.” Another snarl, much louder this time, and with a roll of her eyes Rose slipped her fingers back into the poor troll’s nook. 

Appeased, he continued with his explanation. “It’s only a matter of time,” he said. “Your planet is rich in resources, and humans appear to require similar atmospheric conditions to our landdwellers, so we won’t have to bother terraforming. I imagine that’s why my Empress hasn’t attacked just yet; more likely than not, she’ll let you finish up your moon before then, save herself some effort.”

Well, that was certainly something. Rose filed that particular piece of intel away to report later to the numerous authorities investigating the distant Alternian threat. No sooner did she finish that thought than she realized that Dualscar was still talking, his voice lowered to a purr as she curled her fingers in his nook.

“—humans seem like you might be useful as slaves as well, or at least livestock.”

Rose rolled her eyes; perhaps it was time to shut him up. Curling her fingers around the tip one tentacle, she coaxed it to finally squirm into her mouth. The effects were immediate; Dualscar tensed up, then gave a full-body shudder. His plans for the future of humanity became a pleased sigh. It normally was not so easy to get this kind of reaction, but judging by how sharp his teeth were, Rose guessed that oral sex was a novelty from the troll’s perspective. This was a fact that she was more than happy to abuse.

“Rh-ose…” The moan of her name was not relayed through the translator, but rather a pleasured sigh in an accent unlike any of earthly origin. Despite herself, the sound sent a shudder up Rose’s spine. Dualscar’s bulge curled against her tongue, going back as far as she would let it. She took a deep breath, taking as much as she was able, then wrapped a hand around the base. That in itself was enough to have the troll’s breath grow ragged, his skin flushed lavender. Rose swallowed, the muscles of her throat squeezing around the sensitive organ, and he let out another subsonic sigh that she could feel in her very bones. 

Rose had told herself that this was strictly to satisfy her curiosity. She wasn’t even interested in men (although trolls did not seem to conform to the same gender binary that humans did, which might affect the way she perceived him). Now, after so many weeks, she couldn’t help but feel a strange fondness for this awful sea monster, as well as a desire to make him squirm that went beyond the purely scientific. She could not deny that she was attracted to him, one way or another, and she wasn’t sure how much his tentacles could account for.

She did love his tentacles; that much was surprising to absolutely no one. The noise she had made when she first saw him fully unsheathed had been nothing short of embarrassing, but really, who could blame her? There were seven, that she counted, each as long as one of her arms and just as thick. Immediately she had known that she needed to feel one inside of her before Dualscar returned to the Alternian fleet.

Now, as her lipstick left black smears over one amorous tendril, the rest curled around her arms, wrists, her throat. She did not know how much control he had over them, but they were as gentle as the rest of him, unwilling to harm any part of her delicate form. Still, as he shivered and gasped, his bulges tightened their grasp. Rose inhaled sharply through her nose as one slipped under the collar of her shirt, and a moment later she was gripping it with her free hand, guiding it down to curl around her breast. Everywhere they touched they left a trail of slick, violet fluid; the sensation was less than comfortable, but she could not bring herself to care.

Rose stayed down as long as she could, her lips wrapped around Dualscar’s bulge, but eventually she needed to breathe. She pulled off with a gasp, one hand prying the other tendril away from her throat. Her chest heaved, her cheeks tinged red; when she looked up, Dualscar’s good eye was fixed on her, and he wore an expression not unlike that of a teenage human boy getting his very first blow job. Privately, Rose found the thought amusing, and would make sure to mention it to him as soon as she knew it would not completely kill the mood.

His lips moved, and belatedly, Rose realized that he was speaking. Quickly, she fumbled with the translator in time to hear him say “—up here, lovely. Let me return the favor.”

Rose could have made him work for it a little more, but as one of his bulges stroked over her nipple, she was not inclined to argue. 

She shifted her weight, meaning to crawl up over him, but before she could do so, Dualscar placed his hands on either side of her waist and lifted her into his lap, as easily as one might lift a kitten. She settled her weight on one thigh, with her legs draped over his lap. All seven tentacles tried to wrap around her, and yes, she was definitely going to have to have her dress washed after this.

From here, Rose could plainly feel the pleased rumble emanating from Dualscar’s chest. Affection and hunger mingled in the old troll’s expression, and he lifted his hand to wipe a smear of slime off of her cheek. Rose was careful to remain impassive, even as her heart did a strange little flip in her chest.

“Be careful,” she found herself saying. “One might think our noble seadweller was going soft for a pitiable little alien.”

Dualscar snorted, but did not deny it. Rather, he said, “Whenever my Empress decides to invade this system, I’ll come find you. I’ll treat you well, don’t you worry.”

Something told Rose that was the highest gesture of affection he was capable of. She decided not to tell him exactly what she thought about his offer. Instead, she began to undo the buttons fastening the front of her dress until she could slip it off of her shoulders, and immediately she had the seatroll’s interest.

“You are wearing entirely too many clothes,” Dualscar mumbled his claws tracing delicately over the bare skin of her back. Rose ‘tsk’ed at him, despite the fact that she agreed wholeheartedly.

“You’re a thousand sweeps old, surely you can wait a little longer,” she said.

Dualscar gave her a sharp-toothed grin in response. “I never did like waiting for a pretty lady to undress,” he said. He hooked his claws in the fabric of her dress, and suddenly she was reminded of how easily it would be for him to shred it entirely, leaving her to a naked walk of shame back to her own quarters. The realization made her wetter than she would readily admit. Feigning annoyance, she shifted until she was straddling the troll’s thigh, then hiked her dress up and out of the way. Almost immediately the roaming tentacles—no less interested for the short time they had gone unattended—began to curl and prod between her legs.

“Better?” she said dryly. Dualscar’s grin only widened.

“Much.” He placed his hands on her hips, then dragged her close. Rose found herself pressed flush against him, her hands gripping his shoulders. The sound he was making could only be described as a purr, although Rose could not ignore its predatory edge. Her heart pounded in her chest, and she focused her attention on keeping her breath steady and even.

It took all of her self-control not to squirm as three or four of his bulges wrapped around her thighs, while the rest pressed at her entrance through her undergarments. One, perhaps by luck, found her clit; then it gave her a slow, purposeful stroke, and oh, he had to be doing that deliberately. The tentacle pressed against her and began to writhe, stroking her once again with every undulation. 

It wasn’t long before Rose was squirming, despite her best efforts. Truly, she didn’t care. She cared even less when Dualscar’s hand slipped up under her dress, hooking his fingers in her panties and sliding them down and out of the way. Hardly any time at all passed before his bulges when back to toying with her clit and her vulva, now without even a thin layer of fabric between them.

Already heat and pressure was building in her abdomen. Rose’s lips parted as she gasped for breath. Although she did not remember consciously doing so, she lifted a hand to palm at her breast, letting the additional sensation add to her growing pleasure. Dualscar’s hands braced against her, one tangled in her hair, one cupping the small of her back, and the mere fact that they dwarfed her was enough to make her shudder uncontrollably.

Before she could give any serious thought to taking back control of the situation, Dualscar’s bulge circled around her clit, and every touch sent a pulse of heat through her stomach and groin. With a shaky cry, she slumped forward against him as she was worked over by what she hoped was the first orgasm of many.

When she came around a moment later, her eyes settled on Dualscar’s all-too-smug expression. “Are you enjoying yourself?” he said. 

As soon as Rose caught her breath, she leaned forward and closed her lips over his gills. A startled cry escaped him, and his body jerked. Now it was Rose’s turn to be pleased with herself. She slid her tongue along one elegant frill, then pulled away to see Dualscar with his feathers fully ruffled.

“I don’t think you realize the significance that action has in my culture,” he snapped. “What makes you think you can do something so intimate—ah!”

Rose dove in a second time, laving her tongue over his other set of gills. She was no expert in troll culture, but she would bet her left hand that the trills and clicking sounds he was making were far from dignified. She smiled against his gills, making sure he could feel it, and when she reached up to tug on his fin she was rewarded by a breathless cry of her name. And well, she just couldn’t help herself.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” she said, quietly enough that, for a moment, Dualscar almost didn’t notice.

Powerful hands gripped her waist, and a thick tendril writhed up and into her. Then it was Rose’s turn to cry out, her back arching as Dualscar’s bulge worked into her, spreading her open in all the best ways. It delved as deep as it could go, pressing up against every sensitive bundle of nerves. Rose clenched down hard, feeling her heartbeat pulse in her clit, and it was all she could do to keep from begging for more.

Unwilling to let him gain the upper hand so easily, Rose did the first thing that came to mind; her teeth found his clavicle and bit down hard. She knew now from experience that she could not puncture his skin, no matter how she tried, but the strangled growl she coaxed from him was well worth it.

Before Rose could feel too smug, however, she suddenly found herself on her back, pinned against the pile of cushions that Dualscar had been using as a bed. The seatroll loomed over her, his fins fanned out and his teeth bared. For a moment, there was an instinctive flash of panic; Rose felt closed in, like a choice piece of prey. Then his bulge, still deep within her, curled against her g-spot, and the adrenaline in her bloodstream made the surge of pleasure that much more powerful. 

Dualscar’s tentacles curled around her wrists, her arms, her thighs. One reached up to press insistently at her lips, and she had neither the desire nor the wherewithal to do anything but let it slip into her mouth and curl against her tongue. The tendril inside of her, although it could go no more than a few inches deep, sent shocks of pleasure through her with every movement. Its length rubbed against her clit and its tip teased her g-spot, and she couldn’t help but rock her hips in a vain attempt to make the amorous tendrils work her more quickly to another orgasm. Above her, Dualscar was in a similar state; his eyes were half-lidded, and razor-sharp teeth worried at his lower lip. The feral sounds coming from him steadily increased in volume, but Rose was beyond caring that people might hear what was going on.

Time seemed to suspend in an instant, and lights danced at the edges of Rose’s vision. She was not aware of how she cried out as her second orgasm rocked her, nor how Dualscar went rigid as her entrance, her hands, and her mouth all tightened around his bulges. At some point, he must have climaxed as well, and she found herself clinging to him as they both rode out the aftershocks.

She came around to see Dualscar staring down at her with something akin to concern. His eyes were hazy and his fins pinned back, but he seemed unfairly coherent, while Rose’s limbs and brain felt like jelly. He had once boasted to her that highblooded trolls could keep going for days, and god, that would be so annoying if it were true and she felt the need to try and keep up. 

Rose felt more than she heard his low chuckle, but didn’t have time to so much as protest before he was lifting her up and into his arms. Still, she did her best to assume an expression of innocent scientific curiosity. “I do hope this is not the part where you devour me as part of an alien mating ritual,” she said, deliberately not thinking about how likely it was that her facetious guess could be unfortunately accurate. 

Luckily for her, Dualscar said, “I don’t play with my food, love, and I certainly don’t cuddle aliens covered in slime.”

Rose feigned a scowl, even as she let her head rest against the old seatroll’s shoulder. “Might I ask whose fault that is?”

“Yours.”

Dualscar carried her into the bathroom, never mind how the bath was much too small for him. It was an undeniably sweet gesture, but alien slime or no, Rose didn’t think she was quite ready to be set down just yet. She draped her arms around his shoulders and stubbornly clung to him as well as she could. Meanwhile, just this once, she let her eyes drift shut.

“How about this,” she murmured, her voice barely audible. “Whenever we humans do away with your empress and her fleet, I’ll find you. Don’t you worry, I will be sure to treat you well.”

Dualscar laughed, and the sound was uncharacteristically genuine.


End file.
